twin wheelbarrows
seen in windsor park
August 2003
office disco
i write to you as a sad failure. i just tried to whip my office in to a frenzy by holding an impromptu disco (an illegal desk-based rave maybe). we had music by Apples In Stereo pumping out from my PC and I even jiggled my shoulders slightly.
unfortunately after approximatly 40 seconds i realised no one else was interested so i turned the music off again and steadied my shoulders.
i’m not sure where i went wrong. might have something to do with the auditors being in the building and most of my desk-mates being accountants ? either on its own could stop the groovest of discoteques. together they are a lethal combination.
i await feedback from my colleagues as to why my ‘disco project’ failed.
balloon misery
i have a theory about conservation of fun and inflatable things.
premis: every act of fun has an equal and opposite amount of misery.
think about balloons: kids love them, then they pop or get stuck in a tree (the balloons not the kids – have you ever seen a kid pop ? kids drink pop of course)
also applies to bouncy castles. there are always crying kids around bouncy castles, either from bashing in to people or from being told its time to come off.
stars in their eyes
have you ever wondered what is on the other side of the smoke in ‘Stars In Their Eyes’ ? i recon it it’s a space time portal thing. anywhere you see smoke look to see if there is anyone dressed as elvis, buddy holly etc entering or emerging from it.
perhaps i’ve been reading too much harry potter and this is an extension to the Flue network thing. or maybe i’ve stumbled upon the truth …
here is one entry point i saw at near Paddington Station this morning. A man had just gone through the smoke and dissapeared (he could have just gone in to the van of course).
old pain clinic story
my chronic pain is called neurophathic pain which means my brain feels pain even if the original source of the pain has long since left. my particular pain is in a particular sensitive part of my body (for blokes) and is very unpleasant.
one way of blocking this type of pain is to give the patient an epidural. sometimes this is enough to trick the brain in to thinking that the pain has ended and once the effect has worn off, the pain magically dissappears.
comedy moment in the waiting room
shortly after i arrived at the pain clinic a little old man was helped over to the seat next to mine. he was very sweet, but very old and a little unsteady on this feet.
car park misery
i got the train in to reading this morning. took about 1.5 hours door to door so had a bit of waiting.
whilst waiting i read an oftel explanatory document on rules for service providers under the new regime in case any one is interested in how i spend my time during the day 😉
I then met Jane in town and swapped her my train ticket for the car keys and drove myself home (she’ll come back later with the kids on the train). but not before paying for the car park.
the first pay machine i put my ticket in first said £2 to pay, but it owuld not take notes or cash. instead it said go to the machine two floors below to pay by those methods. so i went down two flights of stairs, inserted my card and it told me i had to pay £3 ! When i looked at the ticket it had just rolled over to another hour. how completely annoying.
how to transport gamblers
how do you move an addictive gambler around the country ? answer is to buy a van, put the gambling machine in the back and coax him in with a stick.
twin pedestrian crossing buttons
outside the hospital is a pedestrian crossing. one crossing, but two sets of buttons each time. good to have a fail safe emergency standby
discharge
hoorah. i’ve been discharged from the Pain Clinic. Doesn’t mean I’m completely better, but does mean they can’t do anything more for me !
it’s a shame really as their new clinic is fantastic compared to their old location. the new one has airconditioning and everything.
the berkshire hospital is fantastic at the moment as it’s riddled with funny little passages which aren’t signposted very well (or if they are they are in latin or something). Here is a wooden tunnel:
I had to walk through the middle of the breaks and fractures department to get to the Pain Clinic (which seemed fair). it was absolutely full ! i was going to take a picture of about 200 people in bandages, plasters etc but the mob looked slightly unhappy !
oops they moved the hospital
the pain clinic has moved from the rather aptly names Battle Hospital to the Royal Berkshire hospital. I usally allow 2 hours by public transport each way to get to the hospital from home. not sure if the new hospital is closer or not. I’ll just have to find out …
spam of the day
i got a spam email today entitled “Get Seductive L|ps – no man can resist!” a really tempting offer i have to admit.
they haven’t used the letter ‘i’ in lips. so maybe, rather than seductive lips they are actually selling seductive LPs, as in Long Player records.
maybe someone has thought of an inovative way of flogging their old vinyl.
pain clinic tomorrow
i’m off to the hospital to go to the pain clinic tomorrow. be interesting to see what happens. i’ve weened myself off my gabapentins and now only need to reactive use co-proxomal as required. compared to this time last year it’s fantastic. i’ve had a mostly pain free life for the last 2 months i think.
however, i have been in quite a lot of pain the last couple of days. i think it’s probably the temperature. perhaps that’s why i went a bit bonkers earlier
working hours
i got annoyed today at work. doesn’t happen much, but i’m sick of people commenting when i leave to go home at 4.45pm. i often work on the train on the way in, i’m in the office around 8.15, usually don’t stop for lunch and usually end up doing extra work in the evenings. when i work from home i usually do even longer hours as i’m keen people don’t think i’m skiving.
handmade bikes
they’ve laid new road round the corner from the office and it looks like they have handrawn the road signs. i would love to meet the man who draws the bikes. I wonder if ‘bike man’ does any other signs ?
the muffin man of drury lane
have you seen the muffin man that lives on dury lane ? here is a shop which sells muffins and is based in dury lane.
the clown bus
this bus looks like its been built using the same technology as circus clowns’ cars.
man in chalk square
this man has drawn a square around himself in chalk using a ruler. he looks set for the duration (whatever that means). in life we all put up barriers.
i may pop back later and see what has developed …
can-o-meter
here are a number of different softdrink cans on a parking meter
