strange thing with a wheel
mystery rubbish. it’s all sticky out things and castors. i half expected it to ease itself out of the bin back and stand upright.
May 2004
tempora out of use
it’s not completely out of use. it still makes a nice flag with writing on type thing.
exploding furniture
i spotted this two exploded furnitures about 20 minutes apart on my walk to the station last night. a coincidence or something more sinister ?
lucky dip
here’s a thing. it’s a lucky dip in the litter bin. pay your money and put your hand in the bin. anything you pick out is yours to keep.
rumour is there’s two £10 note in there. but you’ll never win them as only the stall holder can.
he even admits that in writing: “only I win each”.
tradesmen
look at the state of this double glazing. rubbish. i could have done better myself.
actually i probably couldn’t.
i remember …
6 years ago this was a horrible public toilet that i used to have to walk past on the way to work. i haven’t been that way since then and was delighted to see it’s been bricked up and painted orange (at least on the outside).
the smell has gone too.
it’ll snap if you stretch it too far
strange things happen down the underground. in a willy wonka-esque dejuicing way, people who get squashed down the tube can be stretched back to their normal length.
if you are really shortened you have to use the ‘plus’ version.
lee
here is lee preparing to preach on a tiny lecturn.
stolen lighter
lynda hasn’t got a camera. but she does have a husband. and he has got a camera. so he took this photo of a prison lighter which she found in the street.
these are probably fairly exclusive items available only to crims who’ve been banged up. alternatively, perhaps there’s a prison gift shop where you can buy this kind of merchandise when you get discharged to remind you of your time in side ?
they probably also give you a carriage clock engraved with the words “I did my time between [insert dates here]”.
contributed chicken sign
here is an animal sign which isn’t of a dog. it’s from waltham st lawrence which is very posh and nice.
waltham st lawrence is the name of the place, not the person who sent it to me. she’s called lynda.
the sign is written in words so as not to worry the chickens.
watch out
my mum generously got esther a watch when she visited last week. esther loves it.
yesterday we had time checks every 5 minutes.
jane: “when the long hand points to the number 10, that means it’s 10 minutes to the hour”
esther: “that can’t be right, otherwise the long hand would have to go backward to count down to the hour”. (she’s right you know)
my favourite was when she chose to be completely vague
me: “what time is it esther ?”
esther: “just past mid-morning”
more stickytaped nature
here is another reconstructed deconstructed cellotaped unnatural natural thing.
couple 11
matt’s photo is now on davescollections right here
shadow strangeness
esther and i played shadows this afternoon. esther’s shadows have mysterious properties and make her look like she’s a tall skinny model (holding a small bean-filled lamb).
The picture on the left may in fact be a time-travel shadow of her in the future on her 18th birthday ?
a trip to the swing park
i’m sure i’ve already mentioned that it’s jane’s exam-marking season which means for the next 6 weeks-ish she’s busy – er – marking exams and i’m busy looking after the kids.
this afternoon they were happy to play in the garden which was great. after 3 hours i got bored and suggested we went to the local swing park.
esther and kezia took their baby-buggies which meant the 5 minute walk took nearly half an hour !
the park has recently been reopened following the installation of a new slide. it’s nice and shiny:
insect
guess what happened here ?
that’s right. i was trying to kill a bug after midnight last night (this morning). the bug was on the stairs and I decided my best strategy was to keep throwing newspapers and magazines at it from the landing until i hit it.
In the end i stunned it by bashing it directly with a Swimsuit wearing ‘celebrity’ called Michelle (on the cover of Heat magazine).
I then trapped it under a glass so i could inspect it in the morning. notice the sugar bowl on top in case the beasty woke up and tried to push the glass out of the way.
here are a couple of photos of the beast
jane and i are proposing a ‘bush tucker trial’ for anyone interested
chocolate ice-cream
kezia loves chocolate ice-cream and makes sure every last drop is eaten.
(but first she checks to see if anyone is watching)
