speeding up the post

the great british postal system – the royal mail – has been under lots of pressure recently because of its poor performance. letters have been slow to be delivered and they’ve abandoned second post deliveries.
how can the royal mail ever keep up with the almost instantenous communications possible by email and txt msging ?
the answer is obvious. upgrade your vehicles to more sporty numbers. deliveries will get there quicker and it has the added bonus of attracking new recruits.
the man in the postal van was sitting looking longingly at this rather nice car. sure his van hasn’t got the speed and acceleration, but he can claim an advantage in height (i feel a game of top trumps coming on)
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