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July 2003

dog catcher

i often see dog catcher vans round london. nowadays they capture furniture (it contains the future remember). here are two gentlement catching a sofa and a bookshelf. they were distracted by a 9volt power supply in a box, so didn’t spot me taking this photo.
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these people are a menace, and an enemy to the casual furniture / white good spotter.

smart dodgems

here is a smart car with an attachment on the back.
i think it might be a backpack attachment thing so you can carry your car on your back in the tube.
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or possibly, someone realised it looked like a dodgem and has adapted the car to run on car overhead electric cables (which unfortunately don’t exist outside of funfairs)

church BBQ

90% of our waking hours today were spent on church activities.
the fun was split between music related activities and the church family BBQ.
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the BBQ was christians burning steak, rather than being burned on one.

words alike

the furniture contains the future

photos from the boat

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see how the elderly gentleman standing next to me is admiring my new found fashion sense (shirt: liquidation sale £6, wooden tie 6euros)
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here i am again, this time with some ladies.
photos by herve

a woova

according to esther, a jawn and cough sounds like a woova.

strive …

don’t be baboozled by tautologies

umbrellas

today it was raining. i got very qet. when it rains people use umbrellas. pavements aren’t wide enough for multiple umbrellas. this causes people to think vertically when walking. do i crouch to avoid the oncoming umbrella. do i lift my umbrella high above the oncoming walkers.
it appears the etiquette is that the largest umbrella goes highest. golfing umbrellas go way up in the air, whilst small pop up ones can get away with barely skimming the tops of people’s heads. this is fair as the golfing umbrellas cover the most area and save the smaller umbrellas from getting wet.
no one likes a wet umbrella. that’s the problem with them really.

tower bridge

view from the boat at dusk
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this next photo was taken moments later with the bridge just closing. i missed the bridge fully open as i was disembarking the luxury superior quality craft. oh well.
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public speaking

one way to get more laughs whilst giving a presentation is to camp it up. however you need to be careful you don’t get too tense (two tents).
on the boat we also saw those massive needle things on the bank of the thames. there was no way they were going to fit through the eye of a camel.

dj on the boat

tonight we had the pleasure of a pleasure cruise aboard a superior cruise vessel. we also had the pleasure of a DJ called Paris who had a gameplan. His gameplan worked as people started dancing at the required time. he told me he also has a daughter named ‘elektra’. i didn’t ask him his surname.
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vegetarians look away

this morning (6.40am)on the way to work i saw lots of snails out on the street as it was nice and wet for them. walking back this evening (11.50pm) i saw snails on the now dry path way. lots of them.
my game was to walk really fast listening to my stereo really loud (Supergrass) whilst dodging the snails on the floor. there were lots of crushed ones, but I managed to avoid them all myself.
a good ‘on the way back from the pub’ game to play i think.

pop idol head-to-head

i walked past two Pop Idol Talent Box vans today. Not a clue what it means but they looked good head-to-head.
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UPDATE: more info on a teenage pop idol here
UPDATE2: i went to a wedding of a pop idol finalist. see here

table bin

someone had cleverly placed a set of table legs and frame around a bin, thus creating a table bin. brilliant concept. just eat your dinner and push what you don’t want in to the hole in the middle.
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dog with weird eye

here is a sign on the Royal Festival Hall door:
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It’s a very square dog with a mad eye
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