October 2004
black and white
this telly built in to a black and white picture was showing a black and white film. until the telly broke. now it’s a crazy coloured thing.
hoorah. it’s like the black and white went super-nova (or something)
baby jesus (with a man’s head)
here’s another one of thoese bizarre catholic statues where the baby seems to have a grown up’s face. unfortunately you can’t really tell in this picture as i was too far away ! but you know what i mean.
wedding dress
this lady was carrying a wedding dress angrily down the street on her head. there was a story here somewhere.
i had to laugh when she went in to the wrong door, quickly came out as if nothing had happened and then went in to the next door which actually belonged to the wedding dress shop.
who’s running this place ?
if this is england, why do we have pictures of an old American preseident on the illustrated coins on the pay-and-display machines in our local train station ?
sharks in hull
and kezzy in the crab tank:
lack of forward thinking
this shop (now shut down) was asking for trouble when it ordered its sign saying it had been going for 40 years. it was committing itself to annual sign refreshes.
in the end, escalating sign costs lead to the demise of this once thriving premise. i imagine.
stop this modern building thing
an ancient building in the shadow of a modern monstrocity. and two signs saying stop.
a strange journey home
i waited three hours for someone to turn up for a meeting today, but they didn’t show, so by 6pm i gave up and went home. but as i came out the office i saw them in the pub across the road !
so i went in and he admitted he’d forgotten and was very emmbarrased. By the time we’d chatted i was over 2 hours late going home. so the two events which happened on the way home were really someone else’s events which i hyjacked. possibly.
anywoo, the first thing was hearing this phone box ring. in these days of mobile phones it’s rare to hear such thing so i jumped in to answer.
“hello”, “hello”, “who’s this?”, “it’s dave, who this?”, “mandy”, “hello”, “hello”, “where are you?”, “in a phone box”, “where”, “i don’t know, oh yes, there’s a street sign, Paddington Street”, “oh”, “why?”,”because someone just phoned me from there”, “oh, sorry, wasn’t me”, “oh, it was probably my sister”, “yes, probably”, “is she there”, “no, there’s no one in here but me”, “what about outside. she’s got very short hair. and she’s called Karen”, “just a minute, i’ll have a look”, “thanks”, “THERE’S A PHONE CALLED FOR A SHORT HAIRED LADY CALLED KAREN ? no, sorry, just shouted down the street, no one’s about”, “ok, well, thanks anyway”, “that’s ok”, “have a good evening”, “yes, and you”, “bye”, “bye”.
and then a little later on my journey i found this very smart (and expensive) 4 Megapixel camera. i’ve reported it to the relevant authorities and now need to wait until the owner claims it.
i’m going to take a photo of me, the finder, with it so when it gets reunited with its owner they’ll have a nice momento. perhaps i’ll give them a link to the site too. there weren’t any photos on the camera already. I’ll let you know how i get on:
submitted signs
i was sent these signs by reader marissa (not to be confused with reader rabbit). both are very good.
i particularly like the smartly dressedfulness of these two people. see how the older kid is pushing the smaller one in the back. she’s probably walking too slow. that’ll be because she’s a girl and everyone knows girls can’t walk fast.
or it might be because she hasn’t got any feet. and neither has the bloke. so perhaps he’s using her to steady himself.
i don’t know for sure. i’m just trying to interpret these things for you.
and how about this for a great sign. the problem is that they’ve assumed it will be people who will try and swim, yet it’s actually the ducks who have monopolised the place.
they should wrip that sign up and turn it the other way round.
or better two build a 2-sided one. they could then do one in english for people and one in duck-ish for duck people.
‘quack quack. quackety quack!” it’d say.
probably.
in the pink
look at its pink bottom. surely that can’t be appropriate for a bollard ? it looks SO girly !
rat
another pesky rat.