nonsense

do you know the secret about windmills ? well, if you promise not to tell anyone, i’ll explain …
early settlers in the england realised to their horror the pure energy that is released when you crush wheat. crushing the germ generates incredible heat which needs to be dispersed otherwise there’s a risk of injury, death or even someone hurting themselves.
so how do you get rid of such energy and split the wheat germ in a controlled manner ? well, if you live near a river you crush it near water and let the water’s coolness take away the heat.

but what if you live up a hill ?
in this case they crushed the wheat between two heavy stones. the two stones would lift slightly with each explosion thus converting the chemical energy in to heat energy in to kinetic energy. small graduations in the stone would cause it to rotate and turn giant drive shafts connected to windmill wings.
the wings would turn and cause great winds to move across the earth, thus dispersing the wheat power effectively. and that is precisely why windmills are placed on hills – it’s the safest place to blow wind from.

swings too dangerous for kids ? it’s political correctness gone mad.

this window is covered in wet paint. perhaps it’s special invisible paint which can turn an old wall in to a window. what a great idea that would be.
i do see some drawbacks with it though. young people would go round the neighbourhood painting on people’s walls just to annoy them.
i have proposed to the makers that for privacy reasons it’s probably best that they invent a two sides version – ie when you paint on the outside wall the effect is only visible to those on the inside who can then see out. If you want to see in to a house then you’ll need to paint the inside wall.
For a window-effect as seen here, you’d need to paint both sides

as regular readers will know, london was once a pine forest on a mountain.
however, did you also know that the new London actually floats on the thames ? here are some of the tethering ropes which go down through the ground and pop out in to the thames where they are anchored.
it’s quite common to see these ropes protruding from the street as they wear themselves lose by the bobbing movements.

here are two polysteyrene packaging things which have holes just wide enough to put your feet in (as demonstrated by my leg here).
i was going to put them on and walk the rest of the way to work, but decided not to when i’d got the first one on. there was a real danger of street fallage.
And jane would skin-me-alive if i went through the knees of my work trousers.

here are two biscuits (one split) at a disco.
at night the glass things on the floor flash different colours in time to the music so the biscuits get the full boogie experience. it’s kind of like that michael jackson video. only more normal.
unfortunately, due to a lack of biscuit police, during the day digestives mill around and fight. here we see a chocolate digestive has beaten up a regular digestive.
i blame the parents.