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December 2004

word 7 – tradition

do people anywhere else in the world have christmas crackers or are they just a peculiarly British tradition ?
i thought i’d best take you through the whole cracker concept. If you know all this already, just bear with me.
the ‘cracker’, seen here, usually comes pre-positioned on the Christmas table, allocated on a strictly one per person basis:
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at the appropriate point in the meal, pulling commences. Depending on your local tradition this may happen at the start, end or middle of your meal and may involve a single unilateral pull, or multiple bilateral arrangements.
the unilateral single pull requires arms to be crossed thus pulling to the right with your left hand and vice-versa:
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bilateral pulling is more adhoc. some fancy people can run a couple of bilateral pulls simultaneously:
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pulling the cracker often requires some force. The cracker itself contains a small incendury device which makes a small ‘bang’ when pulled.
some people choose to grab the inner ‘tongue’ of the cracker which connects to the cracker bang to ensure a satisfactory explosion. Others simply grab a fist full and pull like mad things:
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After the explosion comes the exploration. participants then search all over the table for the contents of their cracker which will usually consist of four things:
1) a paper hat
2) a naff toy
3) a very bad joke written on a piece of paper
4) a piece of thin cardboard used to hold the cracker shape.
here are my jokes and my present. you can read the joke for yourself (don’t laugh too much). the present was a ‘poppin eye ball’:
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It’s obligatory to wear your hat throughout the rest of the meal:
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and for the rest of the afternoon in my case:
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26things

sofa so good

i looked out of my office window and spotted this sofa and chair. they looked quite luxurious and plush from a distance, and were even better up close.
look at those little tassles shielding our eyes from having to see anything so vulgar as sofa legs.
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note the proximity to the secret door
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and from this angle you can see my office window (negativised for fun – doesn’t the sofa look nice like this)
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number 8

numbered birdboxed in a forest. how else will the bird postman know where to take its deliveries ?
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word 6 – music

it was our church carol service this evening. here is what i could see from where i was sitting:
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and here is the famous crib viewed through mic stands:
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why is the crib famous you ask ? because it ranks quite highly [on the second page] when you do a search for nativity in google images (which lots of people do at this time of year)
26things

word 4 – thankful

big eye is always thankful whenever he appears on the funkypancake blog.
i’m always thankful he’s happy with the pictures i post !
here he is looking very smart:
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26things

signs of dogs

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click picture on the left to inspect the quality of the signs

the office do

office christmas parties are always interesting occasions. i’ve been at my present employ (how posh am i!) for 4 years now so i knew lots of people there and had a jolly good time.
here is our leader (the big cheese) giving his annual christmas address to the company:
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here is telco-walter having a cigar:
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and here is one of my current desk-neighbours called Simon. they are moving to a different floor next week, so perhaps i’ll get another photo of him and his chums in a few days time:
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where to park ?

it was my work’s christmas party last night and we decided to drive across london to the venue.
i still find it amazing you can just drive in to the centre of london and look out of your car window at all the sights. it’s a bit like a safari trip.
anyway, it took us longer to get across london than it did to reach london to begin with, and when we got nearly there we found a fantastic free street parking place (we’d been expecting a £20 car park).
but how would we remember which street we’d parked the car in ? well, by looking for this handy monument we parked under.
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no wheels on my trolley

neither of my daughters would pose with this trolley making it feel even sadder than it already was
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panic in the post office

i took the girls to the post office to post some letters. we were given a pile of stamps and had to sit on the floor and lick’n’stick them on the letters.
it was all very complicated and panicy but we managed.
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