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instructions for the week

a note from elton

i just received the following from my friend elton:
just a note to say, if you put a convex mirror in the corner of your lounge, you can get the reality T.V. experience without electricity or licence fee!(you can have an argument with yourself, whilst you drink tea, and look around the room at the same time!) love to all.
P.S. the mirror could be used for games if you can think of any!


spam charades

have you noticed the trend for spam to include random nouns ? i just got one with the subject line which includes “exorcist fireproof buttercup lacquer”
but what use those random nouns ? it seems a shame to delete all those spams when they’ve obviously been sent especially to my email account by someone who genuinely thinks i want to buy their product (i don’t, but the spammer doesn’t know that).
So, i propose that you print them out and use them for your name game of spam charades.
we’ll need to work on this idea together a bit more.
for starters, what is the indicator which the performer has to do to indicate that the thing they are miming is a Spam ? If you can describe it, i’ll try miming it and take a photo to add to this entry (which is currently photoless)


why not invent a new device and call it an underscope ?

shoe throwing

here’s something you can do in your lunch breaks. tie a pair of your favourite shoes together and throw them over an electricity wire. i imagine it’s very satifactory when you get them to stay up there.
probably best to use your own shoes for this.

robbin on a stick

not sure what to do with your old christmas cards ? how about cutting the pictures out and sticking them on to the end of a stick so you can terrorise your colleagues ?

sigh on the dotted line

there’s a small difference between a sign and a sigh. the difference is the length of stick on the letter n/h.
therefore, this week, i recommend you swap the two words wherever possible

instructions for the week

refocused your vision and mission statements.
whilst you are at it, how about creating a portmanteau to describe your activities ? (i prefer the first definition)
another quality funkyblogcake idea.

who wants to read the subtitles

i love subbies on the telly. ceefax/teletext page 888. i was concerned they might not be there when we went digital but i needn’t have worried.
my favourite thing of all is watching top of the pops with subtitles so i can learn the words to the hip songs that the kids are singing.
i’ve discovered another nice idea this evening after a pleasant drink of Honey Dew. i was playing The Beta Band very loudly whilst watching Who Wants To Be A Milli on the telly. WWTBAM is annoying to watch usually (in my opinion) but without the sound and the subbies on it’s much better. The whole experience was quite pleasant.


as we approach the weekend, i advise you to be generous.
yesterday i overheard a man on the train say to his friend “i’m not shy about spending a bob or two”. hoorah for the nouveau rich i thought to myself.
what if you can’t afford to be generous financially ? well, why not start by filling everything up to the brim ?
(this was the 1000th funkypancake blog entry by the way !)


greet each other with sounds of an animal. chickens, cows, sheep and frogs are a favourite. it’s an international language we can all speak.
and why not point to their shoes at the same time for added effect (optional)


this week … finesse everything