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kezia and i had a dad and daughter day in london yesterday. we started with pain au chocolats in paddington station, then went to london bridge, walked down through borough market, spent a couple of hours in tate modern, then went to this.
My experience of holland has always been good, and this was no exception. nice cheese (made backwards of course). And plenty of clog related activities.
kezia and i danced like loons at the silent disco with music played by this chap (note the suite hanger). he too was a purveyor of fine quality cheese
i've had a stinking cold for the last week. i stopped at the petrol station for some lemsips and, as is always the way when i got to a petrol station, i also got a box/tin/tube of pringles.
but fancy me if they didn't use exactly the same colour scheme. that could confuse someone who was easily confused
my colleague Domhnall sent me these photos of a recent trip to a buffet.
he writes: "On the plus side we had lunch in a china buffet place today and they had the weirdest instructions. See the attached and you'll realise they charge you for sitting down (unless you ask them not to), how much your children pay depends on their height, and the offer of Chinese Mush was one I personally passed on! "
this incident catering unit van was at jane's half marathon. What a fantastic name for a van. And what a brilliant idea too.
they could have all sorts of advertising messages, like "all events catered for", or pun around the words incident/instant.
available now for all your emergency sandwich needs.
and if you click on the picture you'll note on the big version it says 'teapo' on the side. which is a nice idea.
i had a business lunch with someone yesterday in a very posh restaurant, but they were 50 minutes late and i only had an hour for lunch so i didn't eat (the cranberry juice is nice though). During my waiting time i did study the menu quite well and noticed you could get broad beans with jam on. which was a nice idea.
jane's parents came for dinner last night - they read this so hello Pooch and Party !
kezia had her favourite pudding which is hot custard and cold icecream. and i took one of my usual wonky pictures. i forget most of my pictures are wonky. i don't do it on purpose. that's just how they come out.
apologies to anyone i make feel sea sick by my wonky outlook !
there was a fancy meal in a Scottish gallery on one night of my conference last week. we sat amongst all the famous paintings and ate our scran.
this chap shouted like a complete madman at this sausage for about 5 minutes before we were served with haggis. i think i'm going to adopt shouting at haggis in to our family dining routine
here's the starter (haggis, neep and tattis i think)
of course if you'd tried setting up a table and having a meal during the day you would have been thrown out:
i worked from home yesterday which meant we could head off in to the countryside with the family for a stroll down the river and a meal in a restaurant without it being too late (and me being spent from the commuting).
warm sunny evenings with a cool beer in the Flower Pot near Henley on Thames. marvellous.
i offered kezia the choice of a lolly or a bounce on a bouncy castle. she went for the lolly option.
instead of 3 minutes bouncing she had over 2 hours of stickiness. good choice kezzy !
it's a very sticky little chappie
guess where we went for a traditional sunday lunch ?
just look at the late afternoon shadow on this muffin in the middle of the road
curry can have this effect. photo by matt the web landlord
can you believe they have restaurants just for dogs these days. it's SO unfair. they probably get to take their scraps home in human-bags.
here was a pain au chocolat i had one morning last week. it's only got one seam of chocolate which was a real disappointment at the time.
not a lot of people know this, but 'pain au chocolat' literally translated means 'the pain of chocolate', which means 'chocolate window'.
spring is springing. which is nice. it's good to see flowers flowering and sprouts sprouting.
i was delighted to see my first pork pie in a flowerbed on the way to work this morning. a sure sign that summer is not so far off.
fruit needs a rest too
highly unseasonal
no body has any time any more. i know i don't. i've taken from stealing time from myself which can only lead to disaster in the long run.
every day so far this week i've gone to bed around or after midnight (thanks to working late) and got up around 5am to start work (i was up at 4.30 this morning to finish a document). it's all been due to the busyness of work, but hopefully that should calm down a bit after today (well maybe).
anyway, food is a tricky thing when you are busy, which is why my local supermarket has started introducing pre-eaten foods. like this half eaten apple.
it saves you both time and money (as they are sold by weight). and also means you don't have to eat fruit.
so everyone's a winner (baby, that's the truth)
i went round to mend a friend's computer last night and to pay me she gave me a bottle of wine (for jane) and a box of galaxy chocolate bars for me ! so much for the no choc rule (back on hold at the moment).
i set the 'point of sale' box up and now it feels a little like i'm running a confectionary stall.
i could never be a proper computer repair man. my teeth would drop out.
but i was quite pleased with this (slightly photoshopped) photo of the chocs in their box !
i'm usually quite hungry by the time i get to work.
it being a friday i decided to buy a selection pack of teeny weeny croissants and pain au chocolats. what a treat.
unfortunately the noise of drilling and general construction coming from another part of my office took the edge of this morning luxury.
i've got a stinking cold and have a massive headache anyway, so the noise didn't help. here's a video of me dealing with the noise.
i don't think i normally look this depressed and miserable. but maybe i do.
home made sign on the south bank:
please do not feed the bladers. hungry bladers operating in this area
sister (in law) binky prepared a range of hot drinks for our boxing day walk (i'm a bit late with some of these pictures aren't i ?).
she started by arranging the cups in a nice line. hot drink picnics always work best if someone has taken care of the estheticeness.
it was such a cold day that our drinks were very welcome.
mmm. i'm enjoying my last few days of confectionary eating fun.
sprouts and broccoli are not a young person's vegetable. but they are obligatory at christmas.
here are some cakes i spotted through a window when i was walking down a street in brussels.
lion fountain holding beer can.
i asked at reception if there were any good restaurant nearby the hotel i'm staying in. the receptionist said what sort, and i said "i dunno, mcdonalds or something".
she looked me in the eyes and said accusingly "are you american ?".
anyway, i ended up going to a nice restaurant as you can see from the food i got.
it seems it's the custom in Belgian for late comers to restaurants to say hello to people who are already in the restaurant eating.
but it seems it's NOT the custom to shout goodbye to people as they leave from your table.
look at this fantastic biscuit box and the lovely profitable-tolls.
this is not a chocolate cookie. it's a very nice wheat and raisin one. but i wanted a chocolate one so i sent it back.
but then the electricity went off which resulted in: no music, no money (as it was trapped in the electronic tills), no water in the toilet (???) and no ability to cook me a proper cookie.
oh well.
at this time of year it's quite common to see little piles of biscuits in the street such as these.
for anyone who thinks their job is boring, then just think about this poor person who's stuck inside a sandwich all day.
there's got to be a fantastic joke here somewhere. but for now it escapes me.
i'm sure someone out there can find a suitable sandwich based pun for us ?
as kezia says: "drinks makes wees"
we went out for a meal with our good friends julie, andrew, katie and olivia this evening. i had one of the best meals i've had for a long long time in a restaurant.
it was a Beefeater. Not quite a Bernie Inn, but never mind (whatever did happen to them ?)
i gave quite a lot to other people on the table but still felt totally fed-up at the end of the meal !
one of the other highlights was seeing a high number of bollards in the kids fun pack. On the cover picture it appeared that this young lad is being attacked by three bollards.
following on from last's year's experiment, here is today's consumption. much liquid, but little actual food until right at the end of the day.
banana, fruit juice and hot water for breakfast, blueberry muffin for lunch, crisps at 6pm-ish then a cheese fondle and banoffee pie.
i must remember to eat more food in a day. but notice the lack of chocolate (which is nowadays replaced with beer)
i gave up chocolate nearly 4 weeks ago. but we went to a restaurant today and i decided (in advance) i wanted the chocolate cake. so i did.
i've been thinking about how to make the transition back to everyday life with the chocolate thing. i still need chocolate bars badly, but don't have as much of an issue with cake.
so i've decided to stay away from chocolate biscuits and especially chocolate bars, but otherwise be a bit more flexible on cake and puddings (which i don't often have anyway).
i felt a bit sick after this cake (which was huge) and i thought it was much too sweet. which is excellent news !
perhaps i'm finally kicking the habit ...
things sitting in the street outside a restaurant this morning
at what point will this get easier ? i'm still absolutely desperate for chocolate. it's been over three weeks now.
and still chocolate haunts me. this easter egg was outside paddington station. and yesterday i found a full packet of smarties in my jacket pocket (must have been places there by one of my daughters last week).
it's a restaurant where the food hangs above your head.
this sign was just outside the permiter of the toilet roll ranger, but it wouldn't surprise me if his (or her) jurisdiction had been extended.
the sign said 'danger thin ice'. there certainly wasn't any ice on the little pond so it must have been very thin.
or perhaps it was referring to the giant ice-cream painted on the wall next to the sign. that was as thin as some dried pain. which is quite thin. i think.
i was eating a banana on the way back to the station last night. as i turned the corner i nearly bumped in to a man who was also eating a banana.
we were both dressed similarly and both listening to headphones.
i spontaneously shouted "snap!". in the micro-second that followed before we passed we both gave each other a huge grin.
i've a friend who had a Citreon 2CV and he used to hoot and wave at other 2CV cars as a friendly jesture.
maybe it's the same with fruit - it's just i don't know because i'm normally stuffing chocolate (a more selfish food) down my face.
i got home this evening (11pm) to smell the sweet smell of home cooking. i traced the smell to the kitchen where i found a tub of home made CHOCOLATE cakes.
i opened the lid a small amount and savoured the odours. but i did not eat, for i have cheated chocolate today once more.
here is a photo taken through the transparent plastic lid.
the girls hardly ever have chocolate but once again here they are with big bowls of it for their pudding. hoorah for angel delight they say. it smelt SO good. but i didn't eat any.
look what was on our dinner table just now. more chocolate (for the girls pudding).
none for me still though (it's been nearly a week and i haven't killed anyone yet).
today was one of those lunches where you use up the scraps from around the house. i think those are the best meals.
esther said "this meal isn't very healthy is it mummy ? but i know it's the best you can do". she's full of encouragement.
so far so good. still no chocolate since monday morning. but i was quite tempted by this toblerone in the street.
and when i got home there was a chocolate catalog on the floor ! and in our band practice this evening jane gave out chocolate biscuits to everyone.
(but on the fantastic side i did get to shake John Stott's hand this lunchtime)
here's some good advice readers. you'll do well to remember these words.
i love chocolate. in fact i think i am genuinely addicted. i have a king sized mars bar for breakfast and then various other confectionary delights througout the day.
and we always have a couple of massive bars of chocolate in the house for me. the girls aren't really that bothered by it.
so i decided yesterday to give up chocolate to save money, my teeth and my health.
i plan to be chocolate bar free for 3 weeks. that's the time it takes to kick a habit according to a random page i found on the internet. it wil be the mornings when i miss it most.
last night i watched as the girls ate the remains of my household chocolate store:
perhaps it was sleeping beauty's hair i saw chopped off this morning ? in which case she'll never be able to lower her locks so the frog can climb up to kiss her.
this apple was next to a car park. just so you can picture it in its surroundings
after seeing these glasses i then saw these glasses:
and a little later i saw these two orange drinks (one freshly squeezed, one fizzy) by the back entrance to a hospital:
one way round england's archaic licensing laws is to buy a couple of cans of strong beer and sit on the benches outside a pub.
what have they done to the humble kit kat ? they've given it a subtle make over which i'm not happy with.
look at the cheap special offer label. 30 pence. much too cheap for a quality product. It was a limited offer and there was only one in the shop.
but look at the picture on the back ! chocolate shouldn't be eaten by dyed haired bimbos !
you can see what happens when they try:
the kit kat is supposed to be a sophisticated chocolate bar not some giddy headed fun biscuit.
£7 / 100ml is quite a lot for a drink. That's £70/litre. There was obviously some mistake on the pricing label and i wanted to make sure it wasn't the price / bottle figure which was incorrect.
so i pointed out to a shelf stacker in Tescos that i wasn't prepared to pay £17.50 for a 250ml bottle of juice and he got very confused.
so i pointed at the sign a few times and explained my maths until he eventually walked off.
in the end it only cost me £1.75 so i needn't have worried anyway. And if it makes my cold go away then it was money well spent.
but it probably won't so probably wasn't.
this is what i had for lunch yesterday:
in the evening we went out with our friends Andy and Mary-Anne. We left all our various children at home which was good. we didn't even talk about them (too much).
for me, the culinary highlight was the ice-cream which contained a massive piece of chocolate fudge cake:
a bear for the beer or a beer for the bear ?
i went to this cafe one night. i was full of bearded people with dreadlocks. the men were even worse (boom tish).
one of the customers had brought their pet rat along which was a nice touch. i was invited to play cards by some non-english speaking arts students but when they realised i didn't know what they were on about (and vice versa) we didn't bother.
the music they were playing was excellent - nick cave i think.
anyway, i went past it this morning on the way to the conference and spotted the dangling life-sized manequin. so here it is.
more beer and chocolate and later a kriek which turned out to be a real boon. i got abuse from the bar man when i ordered it because he implied it was a girly alco-pop. in the end it reminded me of snake bite and black (black current, cider and lager) which i used to drink as a goth student.
verdict: very pleasant
who could fail to love a country whose national dish is steak and chips accompanied by beer followed by luxury chocolate and ice-cream.
good to see they still use heinz ketchup.
here is esther examining the garden apples for mouldy bits, bird pecked bits and wasp sucked bits. most of our apples contain most of these:
there were a few good ones which jane chopped up for the girls. they were so tastey that esther licked the bowl to make sure nothing was wasted:
jane and i made the most of our trip to stockholm without the kids by having a meal in a restaurant. it was most lovely.
i've mentioned this numberous times before, but we all love things which are the wrong size. tiny dogs and giant vegetables are our absolute favourites.
here are katie and esther with a couple of giant marrows:
bizarre mushroom circle in Hyde Park. why do they grown like this ?
unfortunately, due to a number of factors, the take-away dinner fell down the fridge and on to the floor. it was ok though. and still tasted great (the rest of it, not the floored stuff)
i'm much happier with this modern picnic food you get on airplanes. it's much more to my taste
i find it very satisfying when i see a small and unimportant thing at the beginning of my walk to work, only to see another slightly related thing further on.
here is a good example. it's some jam tarts (near Paddington) and a pie (near Marylebone High Street). both pastries. both on the street about 20 minutes apart.
melted ice-cream in a tub. it had a fantastically subtle green colouring which you can just about see in the photo.
i love smarties. their chocolate goodness enclosed in a crunchy shell. mmm. these were particularly welcome on a cold day halfway up a mountain.
this is a nice idea for people on pub crawls across london. it's an en-route refueling opportunity.
it's not heinz, but it is pickled cucumber.
on my way to work this morning i spotted this heinz baby food tin. it reminded me of yesterday's heinz broccoli find. the colour reminded me of irn bru
here are some other abandoned food and drink items i passed on the way:
imagine their surprise at opening their tin of beans to find a little broccoli in there ! it must be why they threw the tin out in to the street.
this melted lolly looked like a precious flower. beauty in decay or something.
now here's a remarkable thing - Irn Bru. On our recent trip to scotland we noticed Irn Bru everywhere. it's the coca-colo ('cocalola' says kezia) of scotland.
i tried some at the loch lomond shores which was an irn bru only establishment.
look at the colour of the thing. i'm sure this is why the stereotypical scotsman has red hair:
they sponsor rubbish bins:
and kids play parks:
cans even wash up on the side of rivers:
oh, and i think it tastes horrid. but then i'm probably not man-enough to drink it or something.
i spent about 20 minutes trying to convince esther and her friend catherine that pince cones are in fact eggs containing baby mice. when they didn't believe me i admitted i'd got it wrong (i'm man enough).
i explained instead that baby dogs came out of pine cones and if they came along very early on a sunny summer morning they would hear the pine cones popping and puppies flying out. they didn't believe this either, but i think they enjoyed being smarter than an old person for a while !
on the way out esther pointed up at this tree and said "look mummy, there's a pie in that tree". and so there wasn't. unless it's a giant mushroom pie.
the great british picnic usually takes place in a car park. you'll also need to take an umbrella. the umbrella WILL be needed to protect you from either the wind, rain or sun.
today it was a sun repellent.
one minute there was just bread then there were giant baked potatoes. a mystery caught on camera.
i think i'll throw this one open as a caption competition. not a real competition of course as there's no prizes other than the personal satisfaction of a job well done.
there's much i could say about motorway service stations, but i shall spare you. this one is called Roadchef which conjures up images of a line of chefs cooking roadkill (well it did in my mind)
and look at it inside with it's wifi capabilities and airport waiting lounge style comforts. things never used to be like this.
street fishing is all the rage. there's an ugly side involving dragnet fishing which involves scooping up entire streets.
more traditional is the street lobster pot. this one has caught a chocolate bar over night.
one hour and counting. the food is all nicely prepared and wrapped ...
all of these things are out of stock
i took esther and kezia to mcdonald's today. i was amazed at how much mess they made. kezia insists on turning her cup upside down when drinking with a straw and esther managed to drop her ice-cream tub on her lap.
an old miserable couple sat on the table next to us and muttered to each other every time they made another little mess.
"GET A LIFE, THIS IS McDONALD'S" (i nearly said)
so how is that vegetable garden getting on ? not well, i tell you. i show you too. you enjoy yes ?
a ham and cucumber sandwich with a single bite out of it on a staircase.
did you know you can change your drink just by pressing one of these circles on the outside of the cup in trendy coffee shop 'eat' ?
try it. let me know what happens.
here we are having fun in a restaurant. andy noticed that the chef must have been confused about animals as they were serving buffalo wings.
buffalos can't fly. but then neither do ostriches. or big buildings. but buffalos also have beaks (know as a Buffalo Bill). so perhaps buffalos are actually ducks ?
i dunno.
how do you manage in a town when you haven't got a front (or back) garden ?
one answer is to build a shed outside your window.
another is to get a load of soil and plant some seeds on your front step as seen here.
here is some milk about a mile away from the previous milk. is it the same one ?
more snail stories - lynda also sent me this picture of snails eating a banana. she said she watched them for ages. apparently it was a complete banana when she put it on the ground ...
today's mystery doorstep food stuff is a bit of bread. a doorstep when referred to bread is generally a massive thick slice, but this is a chunk of french stick i think.
it's a random roast potato on our doorstep. how bizarre.
i spy road pie.
my recommendation to you is to always carry a pie crust.
it's ideal for wrapping roadkill.
here is a wall with numerous food related debris liberally abandoned. bags as far as the eye can see (when squinting in to the sun)
this massive pile of stinking slops was on the floor outside Paddington Station. jane said she thought it was mayonaise. she could have been right.
a sandwich. quite near where i found the toasted one a few months ago.
here is a bike with a basket on the back. people have generously put old pieces of mouldy fruit in it to give it a more organic look.
rotting fruit is something often missed in modern bike design.
how DO you organise a drinking party at a brewery ? i'd phone them up and have an ask.
as we know, serious drinkers don't go to the pub, they go straight to the brewery and get tanked up there instead. some breweries even have areas where customers can get loaded with lager, such as here.
i was just passing.
here is my usual breakfast - nut muesli. i've tried to seperate the different nuts in to their own sections for your enjoyment.
i went for lunch with colleagues today in Brick Lane which is famous for curries. a new restaurant had opened which sold .... curries.
if you want to find it, simply walk down Brick Lane. it's on the right and is between two other curry houses.
the restaurant and food was very nice. but there weren't any plants in the plant holders:
and there weren't any fish in the fish tanks:
but luckily they served nice square meals:
raw materials supplied by Aunt Bessy, but expertly cooked and delivered by Jane.
another one. proves my earlier point. love is dead.
a white canvas ready for ordaining with cherries, jellies, smarties and little metal ball bearings which look like sweets.
people ask why i don't drink tea or coffee and prefer to stick to hot water.
it's not easy and sometimes i really crave for a nice blend of glucose syrup and vegetable fat to whiten my drink. instead i use tippex (or another generic brand of white paint based correct fluid)
what is vegetable fat ? sprout blubber ?
it's a while since we've had some street food. here is an orange, an apple, some cheese biscuits and a french roll. and some barriers.
i occasionally see beer cans and empty boxes in doorways. these are the tell-tale signs of 'life' left by street people.
i used to help with a couple of homeless projects a while back and the amazing thing was the type of people who ended up homeless. they came from all social classes and backgrounds. it could happen to anyone.
here we see the dining remains of an obviously higher class of street liver. two bottles of red, some breadsticks and humous dip, an apple, some foliage (for decoration) and a pile of takeaway menus. they've never had it so good.
brown sauce is a strange thing. tomato ketchup is sometimes called red sauce, because it is red. and it tastes of tomato which are also red.
but what is brown sauce meant to be ? it's not described as anything other than brown. sometime's it's called daddy's sauce, but that doesn't help much.
i put brown sauce in the same culinary hole as marmite. yuck yuck yuck.
please admire the 70s lighting on this photo. it was a happy accident (like most of the 70s)