guess the stairs
can anyone guess where this is ? it's a london landmark which costs 2 of your english earth-pounds to go in
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September 2005 Archives
don't leave your rubbish here either
this sign has moved slightly. very interesting ...
rocking chair
here's a rocking chair on the main road. you'll probably need to click to inspect the big version as the chair is quite small (i hadn't time to cross the road as i was rushing for my train in the morning)
244
it's number 244. and so is the photo number from my camera which is a bit of a bizarre coincidence.
dale winton
what a delight to see Dale Winton after my unfortunate Nora Batty incident.
he was sitting in the 'celebrity seat' outside this cake shop on marylebone high street, exactly where i once saw barbara windsor
i asked him if i could take his photo and he said "of course you can darling" !
pity the photo came out so badly. oh well.
no smoking guide dogs
it's fine for everyone else to smoke, except guide dogs. of all the dogs available to modern man i would have thought that a guide dog would be the least likely to smoke as it understands better than other dogs about medical related issues.
but i could be wrong. perhaps the pressure of the job gets to them. we know st bernards turn to drink, so perhaps guide dogs find relief through smoking.
no contest
here was a photo duel i just could not win. despite having my big camera AND my little camera in action at the same time i could not compete.
The rules of photo duels clearly state that in the absence of two time stamped still pictures:
* professional camera beats amateur camera
* video camera always beats still camera
* heaviest camera wins
* biggest camera wins
* extra points for flash and extended eye piece
so he won even though he was wearing his tie over his shoulder.
musical office
have i shown you this before ? it's my musical clonking thing which i keep on my visitor desk in my office.
you hit them with the little leather hammer (on the left) and they make a great mountain goat noise.
every desk should have them. you can use them to transfer your own stress levels to your colleagues. by giving them a good clonk i feel better and they feel worse.
and if i clonk the clonking things instead of my colleagues it's even better. boom tish (or should that be clonk clonk)
hanging gardens
queen anne street in london is one of my most eventful streets. there's always something to take a photo of. i've taken a picture of all the drain covers, i've seen hugh grant (but he declined to let me take a photo) and i've spotted most of my street flowers.
in fact it was only recently i realised that all the flowers on the floor had been coming from these hanging baskets (how stupid am i)!
the hanging baskets are now getting out of control thanks to the rainy summer and they are growing downwards at quite a terrific rate. they are so big and dangly that you can't really walk round them and you have to bend right down to go under them (even for me). is this to be london's first rain forest with its own microclimate ?
here's a really bad picture of me in the flowers attempting to prove how low they are hanging (but failing). the photo was in to the sun and i was rushing for my train and i forgot to smile etc etc
wow. so many words in one entry. this is like a real blog !
matrii
look at this luxurious situation. it's a man of the street lying in a brown velvet blanket and a nice new mattress.
a little later i noticed some more mattresses down a side street so i went to investigate
as a result of this minor diversion i ended up walking a different route to work and spotted this stained mattress some time later
kim ruined it
fantastic giant writting in the sand. i walked along it slowly working out what each letter was. it eventually said "kim ruined it". which is nice.
as from now on
my colleague harry came rushing in to my office yesterday lunchtime saying he'd spotted these excellent signs. i followed his instructions and found them. they are indeed magnificent.
'as from now on' is a bit wordy though isn't it ?
nora batty
jane spotted the lady that plays Nora Batty in Last of the Summer Wine walking by when we were in Bournemouth. She, and her male companion stopped near where we were walking to look at the view.
i approached and asked nicely if i could take a photo and the bloke's first answer was "well, how much are you going to pay me". i was taken a back and said "er nothing, sorry" so he said "who do you want to take a photo of" and i said "i don't mind, both of you together perhaps" and he said "well, what are you going to do with it" and i said "put it on my website" and before i could explain any more he said "well, in that case, absolutely not".
he wasn't very friendly really, but i suppose they must get hassled lots when they are out and about. i had my big camera so i probably looked like a paparatzeeee. i've no idea if he was famous in his own right. he looked a bit like paul daniels (but he wasn't).
so instead, here's a picture of a person we saw by the beach made of sticks, pebbles and a plastic cup.
litter
we sat and watched people grabbing plastic cups of water from the drinks station. open cups of water for runners is a bad idea and there was much fun to be had watching water and cups going flying as the runners failed to grab them properly.
esther spotted the noise that the runners made as they ran over all the discarded cups. it was quite fantastic.
windsor half marathon
we went for a family cycle ride in Windsor Park yesterday. we didn't realise but it was also the windsor half marathon so we planned and timed our journey so we could watch the runners as we had our picnic. in reverse order:
here are the main body of runnings coming up the hill (about a mile in to the run)
here are the front runners
and here was the start an hour and a half earlier.
turkish bin men
here are some turkish bin lorries (sent by john)
little and large
will we ever tire of viennese dog signs ? i know i won't.
greetings from bournemouth
we had a family trip to bournemouth yesterday. it's my favourite time of year to go beaching. not too warm (jumper weather) and as a result not very busy
i fiddled with this photo to try and get the contrast right but it went a bit retro, so i thought i'd turn it in to a wonky old postcard instead.
it's a classic british scene - old lady in a big bikini adamant she's going to lay in the sun, even though it was too cold. husband, reading the paper, shielded by the windbreak, a parasol and his hat. neither of them said anything to each other (except when he helped her get changed on the beach by holding a teeny weeny towel over her - jane and i turned our chairs to face the opposite direction at that bit!)
my wife still surprises me
esther spent most of the time on the beach the wrong way up as she practiced hand stands and cartwheels.
after a while jane got up and showed she could do it too ! i had no idea. here's a hand stand:
and here's an eternal cartwheel:
hassock of the week
from brother edd. is this chap threatening the snakes with a rolling pin ?
what are the chances of that ?
you go to the beach and sit down on a wall only to find the three people sitting next to you are wearing exactly the same skirt and tops (and even shoes). unbelievable.
chocolate cake
today i'll have gone three weeks without eating a chocolate bar ! that's quite amazing for me.
yesterday we ate at Harry Ramsden's fish bar in Bournemouth. i had battered fish and this giant chocolate pudding with chocolate ice-cream. i'm intolerant to eggs so it wasn't a great idea and i felt really ill all the way home.
but it's not a chocolate bar as such, so according to my own rules (which i made up) my diet is still working.
bucket and spade
yesterday i said i trusted the man with a beard more than a mad dressed up as a clown. but now i'd seen the colonel on the beach i'm not so sure. it's all a little too eery for my liking.
bed
i've got a lot of mattress pictures for you in the next week (something to look forward to there then)
an early start
i had to get an early train to work last thursday as there was lots to do before 9am (and then lots to do after 9am). i got to my desk by 7am, but that meant leaving home at 5.15am.
i love earliy mornings although there's sadly no sun at this time of day most of the year which is usually rubbish for photos. but on this morning there was a real pea-souper of a fog on. unfortunately it had mostly gone by the time i got to london. so here's a picture of a train station instead
lock up your bikes
all we ever see is 'no bike' signs. so here's one which tells you to lock up your bike. oh the difficulties of modern life.
hyper cola
the chap on this drink carton has gone completely bonkers. look at all the stuff flying round his head. too much caffeine and sugar i say.
unlike this very sensible chap
not to scale
here is a temporary beach on the side of a viennese canal. all looks fine, except when you notice the size of those apples. that end deck chair wouldn't suit anyone who had a fear of fruit !
no dog ends
i don't normally post the same dog twice, but this chap is standing next to a cigarette thus allowing me to make a pun around the concept of 'dog ends'. here's the original version of this chap
and here's another varient:
no bikes
a whole selection of no bike signs
dog with a hat on
our friend, who has the sirname fox, sent me this picture of a french dog with a hat on. it's obviously a local celebrity as it's got an arrow pointing to it and people drive by in cars to stare it.
pea beer
a pea dropped in my beer and sunk to the bottom. then the bubbles congregated and it bobbed to the top.
due to the level of the beer and the oldness of my favourite drinking glass it wobbled around in charle's shirt until i retrieved it with a fork
d'oh
there's real movement in this sign. it just shows what can happen if you have one leg longer than the other.
trollies
the problems of having no reverse
the problems of parallel parking
bird
it's that bird again. this time flying away
diving madly in to the crowd
telecoms tower
i liked how the airconditioning on this building blends with the tower in the background. bt tower is so skinny in parts.
friendly beach
i like this sign. but it would have been better to have a full stop after the word dog so it would have said:
This is a dog. Friendly beach.
fridge
spot the comedy british electricity plug peeping over the top
super furry animals
jane and i went to see the amazing super furry animals last night.
they are from another planet (wales)
the bin menders
these guys are bin mending specialists. they came out to rescue these falled bins and replace their wheels. the masked hero kneeling down is welding the bin back to health.
i witnessed the whole thing out my office window.
6,000km since records begun
last week i passed the 6000km mark based on my weekly pedometer recordings (which started february 2004). i'm currently averaging 80km/week.
Assuming i'd started in london and could walk directly that would have got me to (and beyond) the United Arab Emeriates, Bermuda, Ethiopia or Washington DC and i should reach Pakistan some time this week.
Not far to go until i'm at Congo. (see here for city distance calculator)
waiting
click to get a better view of this one
05, 32 and 29
3 numbered cars in a car park
hassock of the week
st matthew the pie eater
floatilla
there was some big festival thing today on the thames to mark Nelson's death (or the battle of trafalgar or something).
there were loads of rowing boats going by
some little boats had teeny weeny canons, causing worryment when they were let off in the middle of london as they went by
and these chaps seemed to be eating sushi (just like in napoleons time)
and there were also lots of canal boats
a big pile of photos
here's a pile of photos i found on tottenham court road
some have writting on the back explaining what they are:
sand sculture 2 days on
2 days later
lost dog
a stray toy dog.
just after i'd bent down to take this photo some builders said "i wouldn't leave that there mate", to which i replied "neither would i" and walked off.
i think they were a bit confused
archie's party and liz's mob
i've obscured the phone number, but it was there for anyone to call. i like the little writting which says "i have left messages"
owl
well, it seems the people of Tottenham Court Road suffered Parrot Fatigue and the effectiveness of the costume wore off. they've stuck with the bird theme though, so here we have an owl. (see the complete collection here)
here he is from the front
and here he is attracting a large crowd to the front
a parade of brushes
here are three brushes i saw earlier in the week (on the same day i saw the spade in the shade)
brushes were all over london yesterday too. here's a few that i saw
bird of prey
here's a bird of prey at a country show demonstration. no idea what sort.
church signs
here's a sign at the entrance to the cathedral in Vienna. note the dog sign at the bottom but the one directly above it quite interesting. no people with sticks for arms allowed in.
they DO take them away
here's a photo i took in mid June. just got round to posting it !
268
i love taking pictures of the numbered minis. it's great how they unexpectedly appear round a corner and zoom along the street i'm walking down.
i have to grab for my camera from it's holster and shoot without thinking. it's great when i get a nice one with a blurred background and the car in focus like this.
it's my own special video game.
thames television
hands up if you remember Thames Television ? well, here's a telly floating down the thames
can you spot it in the big picture ?
sculpting behind bars
this chap was in a caged area doing some sand sculpture.
it was quite impressive (click for bigger version to inspect detail)
fashion tips in the wind
it's not uncommon to see outside broadcasts on the South Bank, particularly from This Morning whose studio is right next to the river..
yesterday when i walked by they were having trouble with a load of fashionable garments which were blowing away.
the presenter is the one on the left.
digging the ages
young man
old man
the great boating adventure
ages ago, when we were in keswick, the females of the family went on a rowing boat trip.
esther and kezia considered their rowing strategies
but in the end jane did all the work
fast food
for when you need your vinegary cabbage snack in a hurry.
celebrity eating
i was lucky enough to have a work dinner in elena's l'etoile on charlotte street last night. in the room below us sat Terry Wogan and Tim Rice !
in our little room where we ate were various drawers, including one marked Roger Daltry
wheely nice reflections
in a window
and in a puddle
dyrham house
yesterday we went to the rather lovely dyrham house with my old housemate jeremy and liz.
here is us and jeremy and liz in a ring of flowers
it's weiner man
i am a sausage. eat me. yeah !
if you don't believe me look at my photo:
which weigh ?
these weighing things are all over vienna. you can have your weight measured in the street for all to see.
dog gloves
it's dog gloves. a classic two-category photo.
church conveniences
Ian sent me this picture of a local french church with built in pissoir.
funkypancake upgrade
i've upgraded the server today. if you spot any weirdness (of the undeliberate kind) please email me. i may try changing the layout a little too. so don't be scared !
austrian drinks dispenser
here is a sign of another culture. this drinks machine on a station concorse contains bottles of alcoholic snaps as well as the usual coke varients.
it also seems to contain cans of 'gusset' which i didn't spot at the time.
mr pootle's pictures
keith (the other half of pootlecat) sent me these two picture.
this is a madrid dog sign
and this is a more bizarre curiosity. keith remarked on the hands of the child, but i think the person doing the funky dancing on the bottom left is much more interesting !
scaffolding for legs
here is one of those playstation adverts before we knew they were playstation adverts. it was a sunny day and the reflection of the platform, a scaffolding tower and staircase replaced the bottom of it giving it a slightly different look.
bucket with a purple towel
it's a bucket by a bin. it's got a purple towel in. and a lady in the background has a purple jacket. spooky or what ?
girl 30
as seen on davescollections
i found this woman a couple of weeks back. she was here with some negatives (which show a rock band and some kittens !)
here are the negatives
with the photos were some LPs:
and curiously some old bank statements
the bird is back
the parrot is obviously proving very successful as it's been around quite a lot the last few days
gasometers
here are the Gasometers of Vienna which have been converted in to a shopping mall and student housing. see here for more details
the entrance
the four gasometers from the side
the roof from the inside
the wonky next door building (which really was this angle)
and a sign
conference couple
i tried to do this in 'a style' but i don't think it worked. great models though !
the lost and found keys
i saw these keys on the ground yesterday morning. after taking this photo i picked them up and took them in to a nearby shop.
the lady behind the counter was a bit confused but all ended happily when a lady in the queue overheard what i was saying, checked her handbag and realised they were her lost keys !
the mix of amazement, relief and joy on her face suggested she wasn't a random key thief and my day got off to a good start.
if only i'd have taken a picture of her reunited with her keys !
a nice jolly dog
with a P
and with a white background
faded glory
this shop, which was still open for business had the oldest dustiest window display ever
except maybe this shop nearby
fancy handlebars
my 'no bikes' category has evolved in to any sign with a bike on. so here's one with fancy handlebars
the end of easter
for many people yesterday represented the end of summer as children returned to school.
for kezia it was also the end of easter as she finished the last of her final remaining easter egg.
i myself haven't eaten chocolate since 3pm on sunday which is very good going for me.
giant cigarette
these giant cigarette things are in the entrance to viennese underground stations. i'm not a smoker but i almost considered starting so i could use one of these beauties !
my strange office
due to holidays, conferences, meetings and the modern ability to do so, i've only been at my desk about 6 times in the last 2 months.
today i spotted two strange things.
justin now has a plant growing out of his head
and pete's head has been removed and placed in his in-tray
a trolley escalator
i went in to an Austrian supermarket which had a basement area. you could take your trolley up and down using the trolley escalator as seen here.
people, umbrellas and kids attached to the trolley aren't allowed up it though.
there is a trolley at the top of this picture but you can't see it because it's behind one of the signs. sorry about that.
next time i'll try and get a video clip.
an awsome photo website
i got an email from the chap behind Digitally Distributed Environment who has been taking absolutely fantastic panorama photos of london landmarks.
here's one of his pictures. click it to go to the site
the pictures on the page are interested but to be really wowed, load the quicktime panoramas and whizz in and out and up and down !
guns, skeletons and visible horses
here's a strange thing. it's a gun shop. which also sells skeletons (so you can pretend you shot a person and have kept the skeleton).
it also, rather mysteriously, sells 'visible horses'
the 5 year transport plan
bollards and sweeping trolleys. that's the plan.
photo duel
me of him
him of me
bike chrysalis
this motorbike has turned in to a chrysalis and will no doubt emerge as some motorbike version of chitty chitty bang bang.
kezia has recently announced that white butterflies are actually tooth fairies.
the modern world
telecom tower in the distance
doggy thought waves
i've only just worked out what this sign means. i thought it was a dog looking at the floor with a funny hairstyle.
this sign is on the Vienna U-bahn and i've been after it for a few days now.
phone book
someone had left their address book in this phone box. i could have phoned all their friends to tell them. but i didn't.
small strip of photo
you can just about make out a shoe in this picture.
closed for good
here is a sign on the old police station in henley. it says it's "closed for good". but it might have been for bad. surely it's too early to tell ?
here's a dreadfully photoshopped attempt at giving the old police station some character.
(this is exactly why i don't use photoshop much !)
george harrison's front gates
george harrison used to live in henley behind these gates. this house is just the gate house i think.
once again, right place, wrong time
a very sinister set of signs
why is the fat lady wearing gloves ? and why have the old man and the man with the grabbing stick got x-ray specs on ?
time warp cafe
click to admire the tables, chairs, cupboard and that fantastic wall paper !
buggy park
more exciting than shoe world i wonder ?
litter evangelism
here's john dropping a load of christian magazines on the floor
here is john picking them up again
who says nothing exciting ever happens in the world of funkypancake ?
sorry bob unknown pam
mysterious postit on the floor
vienna is the dog sign capital of the world
there's just SO many good dog signs in vienna. there's loads more to show you !
vintage hair
if nail salons are stuck in the 80s, hair salons are often living in the 70s.
just look at these chaps:
private ground
levitate
vienna
i'm in vienna for a few days at a conference. did you guess ?
it seems a very friendly place. i was sitting on my own in an outside cafe when a couple of people asked if they could sit down at my table. i said yes and 5 of them turned up (4 of whom are here)
they spoke German to each other so i haven't got much of an idea what they were talking about, although i did understand when they were talking about cakes. shows how useful my school-boy German was
(or at least how much i listened !)
just as i was leaving i had a little conversation with them and wished i'd talked to them earlier as they seemed jolly nice people. oh well.
flight
there's a good selection of signs and words on this airplane wing seen high over France. No step seems quite sensible.
