smarties are great. little bits of chocolate, all those colours. the whole missing british blue smarty thing, and the allegedly addictive orange ones which turn you hyperactive.

i liked this marketing ploy which was to remove the colour altogether.

smarties are one of those food which work better the more shove in your mouth. it works for crisps too (especially pringles).

enjoyment = (total number of items shoved in to your mouth) squared.

this formula breaks down slightly before the point of choking. you have been warned.