i was lucky enough to have to go to Ipswich today for a meeting. if that wasn't excitement enough, i spotted this fantastic cleaning device.

notice the articulated driver's standing section which moved independently from the main vehicle giving it a nice roman chariot feel.

did you notice the hit counter this month ? We've had over 10,000 different visitors which is very exciting.

and a few days ago we had our 3,000th comment.

so that's all very exciting isn't !

and here is the 3,000th photo i've taken with my new camera which i got on the 13th August 2004. I took it a couple of days ago so that's about 75 shots a day.

it's a lady with a fancy coat pushing a hospital wheel chair containing her handbag down the street.

this giant carboard contraption was about a metre square and looked like it was under huge pressure. it could explode open at any moment.

i took a chance with getting the photo - my flash could have been the thing which set it free. but it wasn't. so we are ok.

but it was tempting to undo the tape and see if it popped up in to a giant carboard house.

it's modern street accomodation for the flat pack generation. ideal for street folk. free with every can of Super Strength Lager.

it's a while since we've had any milk pictures. i see a lot of milk bottles and cartons in the morning but haven't taken many photos of them.

so here are three together. the chaps on the outside are giving the one in the middle a lift up. Is he injured or preparing for an acrobatic feat ? i wasn't sure whether to look away or stay for the show.

how ambiguous some photos can be.

life is becoming more integrated. cameras on your mobile phone, cars with MP3 players and DAB radios, egg and chips, and of course, diggers on lorries.

it's a super dooper scooper.

this lamp is due to be mended.

i was quite impressed the council had been so good with their signs which even explained what was wrong. it's broken because of electricy supply fault apparently.

i was less impressed when i saw that their charter said it should have been mended by 13 March 2004. i may phone the helpline so we can find out what's going on.

one way round england's archaic licensing laws is to buy a couple of cans of strong beer and sit on the benches outside a pub.

and here

here is an extreme zoom-in showing my office (my window is the middle one on the first floor) and my colleagues john and pilar (john has got an orange shirt on):

tables with views:

pictures from my last trip up the tower (when the weather was better) are here and here

ok, here's a little lunchtime competition. if you get the right answer i'll post some more pictures of where it was.

so, this bloke spends his day going up and down in a lift. but where is it ?

here's another clue - he's driving the fastest lifts in europe (7.5m/s) which take you up 158 metres above london:

we're two green ones down on yesterday. but there is now an empty can of beer. what DID happen here ?

i had to get down low for this photo. much to the worryment of passers by.

the flower itself was about 5mm long, so this photo is probably actual size.

i walk past the gates of the Wallace Collection every day but it's never normally this exciting.

i suspect they've either had a fancy corporate event or a fancy private event. Or maybe they had an opening preview for their new collection which starts tomorrow (according to their website).

but i wish it was just completely for no reason. how fantastic it would be if everyone just decorated their front gates for no reason.

so that's my challenge to you today. find and put up a fancy decoration on your house/flat/caravan front or on your desk at work.

when someone asks you what you are celebrating, just say "life itself" and do a little twirl.

i walk from paddington station to tottenham court road in the mornings and i see a lot of stuff no my way. sometimes there's a theme which only becomes obvious once i reach my office.

today's theme was obvious quite early on. and continued throughout my journey.

groc sent me a link to a photo of people dressed up as bollards. how cool is that ! click on the picture to see a slightly bigger version (on the excellent bunchofpants photo collection site)

they gave away 1 million sandwiches last year. but is that good i wonder ? 1 million is a lot of sandwiches.

imagine if they all went to one person. initially you'd be pleased and they'd probably be some media interest. but quickly you'd realise the logistical nightmare which would result.

You could sell a few on, but time would be running out before the best before date expired. And then what ? I pity that poor person i really do.

if you don't press the button correctly you have to pay £1000. that's a lot of money. you'll probably find that most tube trains stop at the station anyway.

it's only the emergency trains which don't stop which is why you need a special button. probably.

this lady sells newspapers outside St Paul's Tube Station (why did Saint Paul need his own Tube Station ? Stations of the cross or something maybe).

anwyay, i'd seen her picture on another website recently so i mentioned this to her and she said in a really giggly voice "ooooh, i'm famous" !

i saw ricky gervais yesterday morning whilst walking to a meeting.

A bit later at the meeting one of my colleauges who also works nearby said he sees him most days. and he's a regular Denis Norden spotter too.

click for big

shop advert showing lots of coat hangers.

.watch out for the door .and "nibbles" .And Full Stops At The Beginning Of Sentences Instead Of The End

a seriously wounded bollard

tombola or raffle ?

how many times have you wanted to sit next to a bin for a while but had no convenient place to rest yourself ? well, i'd have had no trouble this morning if i'd wanted to sit next to this bin as there were not one, not three, but TWO seats provided.

if i'd sat there i would have pondered the circularity of throwing a dustbin in to the dustbin (as seen on the right of the left hand picture). i may also have been able to consider doing a little ironing (as seen on the right of the right hand picture)

i thought this was a fancy egg cup. but it's got some stange compartment up the top, so i suspect it's not.

i was particularly impressed by the effect the camera flash had on the pavement on the picture on the right. it turned bland tarmacadam in to shimering jewels. a bit like God does really.

i once worked in a restaurant as a commis chef. i hadn't got a clue what that meant (and still don't) but it did involve having to go on a council run kitchen hygiene course. so i'm qualified hygenic.

anyway, one of the important things i learnt was to always check your milk bottles for dead mice. another important thing was never to eat the raisins you find in the store room cupboard.

i also learnt that you need different coloured chopping boards for different types of food - cooked meats, uncooked meats, salads, mannequins, spleens etc.

perhaps these bags use a similar coding. perhaps not. but it's a nice story anyway.

here are some plastic flower petals on the floor. i included my boot-toes as i thought you might be interested.

if you aren't interested in my boot-toes then just look at the top half of these photos.

a sign and some cameras further down the road.

we've been away this weekend.

we journey'ed to the north of england to a small hamlet called Hull. Here is a birdseye view (what a pea would see).

we stayed with our lovely friends richard, julia, joseph, hannah and bethany. they have a variety of aninmals.

we had a great time and i got loads of photos to show you. but i'll pace myself.

meanwhirl, here are esther and kezia taking bella the dog for a walk.

pewari is a regular reader.

i didn't know this and neither did most of the rest of you i'd guess. but she does and i know that because she told me. in an email.

but not only that, she also sent me this photo which contains not one, not three, but TWO different random shoes.

i've no idea of where she found them, but they look very good. so a big thank you to you (if you are pewari, which at least one of you is).

matt sent me this car he spotted on Whitechapel High Street. it looks very good.

it has an L plate which means someone is learning to drive in it. or maybe it means the car is learning to be a real car. from the looks of it it needs plenty more practice.

dog soup in brussels.

there some great clouds going by at the moment which reminded me that ages ago i said i was going to ask a geography teacher and a meteologist why it doesn't rain as much first thing in the morning (ie why i usuallly manage to avoid rain on the way to work).

the geography teacher didn't even believe my hypothesis. she lives in a rainy town in the west of town and hasn't done much teaching for a while as she's been making babies. so she's probably forgot.

but our friend the meteologist sent the following:

You are quite right that it is more likely to rain in the afternoon particularly in the summer with showery type rain. Showery type rain comes from convective clouds and for convection you need wamer surface so air near surface can warm up and go up (convect!) To warm surface need sun, longer sun been out warmer surface, more convection more likely to have rain. In some parts of the tropics you can set your watch by when the rain starts in the afternoon.

Non-showery type rain (due to "weather fronts") dont give a stuff about the time but thats the type which seems to rain all day (or more)

So now we know !

i'm working from home today so got to take esther to school which was fun. there was a coffee morning for parents so i had a hot water as esther proudly showed me all the work she's already done this term.

then it was registration time so i came home to work.

on the way we saw this lost eeyore. According to esther he's been there all week and has no tail.

here's your friday quiz. what do you think this ? i think it's quite guessable.

what have they done to the humble kit kat ? they've given it a subtle make over which i'm not happy with.

look at the cheap special offer label. 30 pence. much too cheap for a quality product. It was a limited offer and there was only one in the shop.

but look at the picture on the back ! chocolate shouldn't be eaten by dyed haired bimbos !

you can see what happens when they try:

the kit kat is supposed to be a sophisticated chocolate bar not some giddy headed fun biscuit.

this bloke has one leg longer than the other. poor chap.

£7 / 100ml is quite a lot for a drink. That's £70/litre. There was obviously some mistake on the pricing label and i wanted to make sure it wasn't the price / bottle figure which was incorrect.

so i pointed out to a shelf stacker in Tescos that i wasn't prepared to pay £17.50 for a 250ml bottle of juice and he got very confused.

so i pointed at the sign a few times and explained my maths until he eventually walked off.

in the end it only cost me £1.75 so i needn't have worried anyway. And if it makes my cold go away then it was money well spent.

but it probably won't so probably wasn't.

look at all these door bell buttons. brilliantly anonymous.

it's now darker than it is light in the UK which is a shame. it's dark when i leave the house and nearly dark when i get home. so that means i need to use flash for my photos which don't look as good as when lit by the sun.

and so seasonally adjusted misery has kicked in and i've got my first sore throat and head cold. the weather's too hot for a coat but too cold not to wear one.

enough of this uncharacteristic whingeing !

the leaves on the floor are starting to look nice.

street advertising could be the future. especially if you were trying to market a product to street cleaners.

here is the little sign. i would have got a better picture only a man with a dog appeared at the doorway next to wear i was standing and i think he thought i looked a bit suspicious !

i've seen two mouses in the last few days. both on pavements and both very tricky to get nice photos of. i didn't show you the other mouse as it was quite frankly dead. and i wasn't sure if you'd like that.

so here is a living mouse sitting nicely outside paddington station.

esther is now in year 1 at school and now gets homework. here she is with her first set of spellings.

it's a list of words beginning with 'sh' and includes shop, ship, shed, shampoo, she, and bizzarely, he and we !

her writing and spelling are alreayy better than myn.

ever wondered what's in the other half of those horrible street toilet things ? well, here's the answer. there's a giant circular brush and lots of pipes and gubbins.

if they'd been a no loitering sign this picture would have been even better.

i would have called it something like "stand waiting in the street".

there's something very amateur about this use of blue and the poor edge-work of the blue colouring-in. you learn to appreciate decent colouring-in when you have little kids about the house.

look at all these wheelie bins gathered in this street. i'm sure they're up to no good. especially that one with the yellow x on him.

but maybe i've misread them. perhaps they are charity do-gooders arranging a plan to tidy the neighbourhood.

i really must learn to look at things more open-mindedly.

this is what i had for lunch yesterday:

in the evening we went out with our friends Andy and Mary-Anne. We left all our various children at home which was good. we didn't even talk about them (too much).

for me, the culinary highlight was the ice-cream which contained a massive piece of chocolate fudge cake:

i can scarce believe the amount of lorries i see which are transporting classical intruments. here is a lorry which belongs to the royal opera house.

there's been a real run on trollies just recently which i for one have found simply thrilling. i hope you have too.

can you imagine my surprise when i came out of my office door and spotted all these trolley going by ? luckily my camera start up time is now quick enough to allow me to capture the moment before it was gone forever.

so here it is. lots of people and their little trollies walking by Pollock's Toy Museum

another run away toy car.

here is a light bulb in a flower bed. also in the bed is a cigarette and a cigar. i look forward to seeing how these develop. i think it might be slightly foolish to plant them as the weather is turning cooler.

but maybe they are winter flowers, with the bulb providing light in the dark evenings and the cigarette and cigars providing heat.

could this be the lock to the key ?

this shop has been saying its closing down for over 2 years now. it's finally gone. i'm slightly relieved as it's a horrible thing to have hanging over my walk each day. but now i can relax knowing the shock of its closure has now passed.

There's another shop just up the road which has also been having its closing down sale for the last year. this was has recently changed its sale to 'factory clearance' suggesting it's not going the same way.

lots of coathangers in lots of different places in london.

i have a new person working for me. she's called Pilar and so far seems to be enjoying the world of telecommunication regulation.

i noticed today that she was wearing two watches. apparently the battery had run out on one of them so she was wearing an additional working one.

in a few years time she'll most likely have an arm full of watches - all (except one) with dead batteries.

here is mini number 333 as seen 2 weeks ago (i've kept the photo in storage). the day before i saw number 456 but didn't get my camera out in time as it whizzed on by.

then today i saw 230:

sign at St Paul's tube station. note the cross in lights on the ceiling. it's a sign ...

it's a long way to the night bell.

here is an unreadable sign stuck round a lamp-post. it's got so much string on it you can't read all the words.

i think it says:

PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE RUBBISH HERE ALL DAY
THE RUBBISH IS COLLECTED AT 7AM EVERY MORNING
LEAVE YOUR RUBBISH OUT AT NIGHT
THIS IS A HEALTH HAZARD AND WILL ENCOURAGE RATS
THANK YOU

i don't know about you, but i'm keen to encourage rats so i'll comply with the sign.

when george w bush visited london there was massive security around this luxury hotel. this morning the security had returned (but was obviously being prepared last week)

it's weird as from the outside this hotel really isn't very nice to look at. but then i guess when you stay in a hotel you are more bothered about what your room looks like than the exterior walls.

maybe that's where i've been going wrong.

here is a sign found by matt in oxford. it's very good and slightly disturbing.

here is a picture of a tap taken by russell the domino man.

he had a nice idea for a title for this post, but wouldn't tell me. perhaps he'll tell us all by leaving a comment ?

however much fun kids have with toys, it's the adults who have the most fun.

here are russell and i having a competition to see who could build the tallest tower with esther's giant dominos.

sunday lunches are great. today we had 10 round the table and much good food and conversation were consumed.

we spotted this glove on the way back from church but because we had visitors i couldn't walk down the street to photo it for you.

luckily zach was keen to track the glove down and provided the ideal excuse to go and photo it. so here is the glove. and here is zach.

a bear for the beer or a beer for the bear ?

from here the craziest moon tunes doth come.

update: view the manufacturers label here. It was made by the famous Peter Cornish

i went to see Julian Cope last night. he's probably one of my favourite musicians. completey bonkers.

it was an 'acoustic set' which meant he didn't have any other musicians (most of the time). but he still played every song loaded with distortion and wahs.

he had three guitars - a lime green acoustic number, a Gibson flying V and a two necked job which was tuned to a chord.

If you ever get a chance to see him live, then do !

children, please warn your kids to stay away

these gloves might have been shoes. difficult to tell.

they obviously belonged to a teeny weeny baby. when you are that age your hands and shoes are interchangable anyway.

if this box could talk it would tell you things. it can't talk but it's still telling us things.

"sometimes it even uses inverted commas"

the shapes, the colour of the building and the colour of the sky. the future is so retro. modern is so passe.

this car park was built by mad bees. i think.

they can hide, but i'll always find them.

"there's more superfluous punctuation than anyone could possibly need here"

it's been a while since we've seen odd job pete doing an odd job around the office. today he's decided to remove the ice monster from the freezer section of the fridge.

he's got an elaborate plan which i'm not convinced about.

here is pete a bit later with the ice:

and here with the ice-less freezer compartment (don't look in to his eyes or you will turn to ice):

i can confirm that it takes the same amount of time for Peter to defrost the fridge as it did for me to have a conference call on the exciting topic of broadband migrations.

my office has come up with a nice idea to try to keep us awake during the day. they've placed some random holes in the floor.

i'm going to go to the local charity shop in a minute and buy a cheap rug to put over the top. i'll then put some nuts in the middle of the rug.

if any wild animals come in to the office, they'll be attacted to the nuts and will fall in to my trap. we can then cook them for our tea thus saving on sandwich costs AND keeping us safe from wild animals.

and all for the cost of a cheap charity shop rug.

there's all sorts of regulation about putting equipment in to boxes in the street. telephone companies are the main people that do this. here we see a new approach.

rather than using the traditional black or green boxes they've gone for a more contemporary wooden cupboard look. i think it works.

i've blurred some of the text, but you get the idea.

this pub has signs screwed in to the tables warning that thieves are in operation in the area. this table didn't have one as someone had stolen it. luckily they left the screws.

i was priviledged enough to be invited to a friend's leaving do today. lots of ex-colleagues were there including some i hadn't seen for a number of years.

here is chris and his collection of passport photos. i thought i'd found another collector but in fact he was just a proud father:

here are some of the assembled:

and here are phil and keith. both now retired and having a great time. both of these people had a great influence on me when i started working with them 6 years ago:

a high number of dustcarts seemed to be a bit broken this morning. i suspect sabatage at the depot.

it's a trolley on a trolley watched in the distance by an old lady with a trolley.

bill posters will be posting up bills perhaps ?

this chap doesn't care he's up a scaffolding. but if you can walk in the air then why bother worrying about falling off stuff ?

i've never seen a scaffolding incomplete sign before but today saw two in completely different parts of town.

i took lots of pictures of religious icons in and around churches whilst in belgium. i'll spread them out a bit so they don't become too monotonous.

here's mary in a mental hospital (i'll explain why i was in a mental hospital another day). the sky, sun and statue really did all like this when i took the photo.

the famous belgian statue. nearby was one of those comedy tourist things where you can pop your head through for a comedy photo opportunity.

a few streets away is the girl version. not quite as dignified as the small chap:

i was sent this photo from simplegames who spotted it at a festival.

see the angry electicity and be very scared !

john at work has found a key and is trying all the locks to see which one it fits. he's a modern day mechanical prince looking for his cinderella.

unfortunately he's completely failed so far, so we turn to you the reader to help us. do you recognise this key ?

if he can't find where it belongs he's going to have to go to the cobblers to get a new lock built. and his shoes repaired. and maybe buy a trophy and a cat identity necklace too.

my life sometimes seems a race against the bin men. especially when i'm photoing human remains in the street. this morning was a poignant example.

i spotted this union jack flag down in the gutter. i'd just taken a photo of it when a Father Ted Uncle Jack looky-likey street cleaner came along and shoved it in his dustcart.

it was quite a poignant moment. if only i knew what that meant.

it's often the case that you can find the source of weather whilst wandering the streets of london. i've found fridges on cold days, cookers and heaters on hot days, and here is a fan on a windy day.

on the face of it this looks to be a nice happy birthday sign. but let's examine the facts:

* it's stuck on a dustbin,
* it reveals the lady's age to be 50 (something she may be in denial about)
* it implies she's over-weight ('big')
* it also suggests she's the only fat old person by saying "marian is THE big 50 today".

it also serves as a daily reminder of her increased age as it's been there a few days. poor old thing.

i've been getting a fair amount of visitors looking for steam / fuel cell bus pictures. so here's one i took last week of a steam bus going under Tower Bridge.

click for big

here is michelle's first car. she looks very pleased with it. and so she should be.

but i see trouble ahead. look at the number plate. it's one of those personalised ones like they have over there and it says "for sale".

that's going to be no end of trouble.

it's a bit being called "ivor funnyname". everytime someone asked you what you were called you'd tell them and they'd say "that's ok, tell me anyway" and so on.

this isn't a horse with a hat on. it's a church with a horse in front of it.

a collage graffiti type thing made from sticking pictures on to a door.

a bollard checking down the hole to see what it's meant to be guarding against.

these signs get more complicated to understand as you read from the left to the right. i'm not sure what the one on the end means, but i wouldn't want to stand near it when it happens.

i'm back home now. i tried to change my eurostar ticket to come back 8 hours earlier but they wouldn't let me even though the 10am train was quite empty and my 6pm train was quite full. my fault for saving my company money by buying the cheapest ticket !

when i woke up this morning i decided i'd rather spend the day with my family than doing more sightseeing, but it wasn't to be. so, expect lots of photos of brussels (and a few more from Ghent) over the next few days.

i had my lunch this afternoon in a park in brussels. i very carefully ordered ham and chips from the menu. but ended up with papprika flavoured crisps and cheese on cocktail sticks. cheese is quite a challenge for a non milk consumer such as i myself am [was that a proper sentence ?].

i think this is what happens after 5 days with an average of 5 hours sleep/night. oh well.

best get to bed as in 7 hours time i need to get up for another week of work ... and the nights/mornings are getting dark. ho hum.

as you know, i walk a lot. so here are some walking facts for you:

1) last week was my furthest walking week at 112.96km
2) i installed a pedometer on to my trousers about the same time i started wearing my new boots (around 2nd feb - i had a month of occasionally wearing them before retiring my old ones)
3) since i installed my pedometer i've walked 2080 km
4) i average exactly 65km / week
5) my boots currently cost me 2.9 pence per km.

here is a man falling down a danger drop. i think this sign has got real movement.

there's a music fair going on at the moment in ghent with all sorts of side entertainments. one group of entertainments had obviously finished work and had gone in to a bar leaving their instruments and heads in the street.

yesterday it rained which appeared to be no surprise to the locals, but confused a few tourists. the site-seeing boats seemed well prepared and almost appeared to turn in to umbrella sail boats:

here the is duck again, this time with people by it so you can see it's size

it was the conference finale last night. much food, good conversation and a live band (which seemed to be playing their songs just too slow to dance to - so i didn't for once !).

it seems shoes are the gloves of belgium.

click to inspect

there's been some great dog signs in Ghent. they've been a joy to find.

here's a dog straining following his success:

here's a dog weeing. it's in the same cartoon style. Cartoons are a big Belgian thing and something they are rightly proud of:

but look at this - it's all the Ghent dog signs on the same board:

click to inspect

here it is in situ with a nice tower block behind it:

this morning (saturday) was the last formal part of the conference. it was a different venue so the walk from the hotel was only 10 minutes rather than the usual 30 minutes.

then it was free time this afternoon before the gala dinner this evening. i've even bought a new belgian shirt for the occasion.

walking through the city of ghent heading back to my hotel i saw this lady holding this dog. something wasn't quite right. it was stuffed.

but nice it still got to go on regular walks.

Light bulbs and boxes of plasters:

and a baby statue:

this massive piece of furniture is OUTSIDE my hotel next to the main road rather than inside. very strange. but nice to see when going out in the morning.

i can't walk by one of those fish-eye mirrors without taking a photo. actually, i can't walk past most things without taking a photo.

i went to this cafe one night. i was full of bearded people with dreadlocks. the men were even worse (boom tish).

one of the customers had brought their pet rat along which was a nice touch. i was invited to play cards by some non-english speaking arts students but when they realised i didn't know what they were on about (and vice versa) we didn't bother.

the music they were playing was excellent - nick cave i think.

anyway, i went past it this morning on the way to the conference and spotted the dangling life-sized manequin. so here it is.

did you know that ghent has its own version of manequin pis ? i didn't. but here he is. i'll go in search of the actual one on sunday for you.

look at this home made beauty. no expense spared here !

this lady was sitting outside this bar looking very photogenic. perhaps she's paid for by the local tourist board. pity i didn't manage to get this in focus.

this hotel being an old monastry has its own little chappel which is open late at night. apparently it was all decked out with candles on my first night here but i missed it. instead here are the candles.

the chapel itself is now used for corporate events and has a bar built next to the altar !

as promised, here he is. his dog is called trixie and goes with him everywhere.

here is a strange chap/lady in a window i saw last night. i didn't go closer because i was slightly too scared.

more beer and chocolate and later a kriek which turned out to be a real boon. i got abuse from the bar man when i ordered it because he implied it was a girly alco-pop. in the end it reminded me of snake bite and black (black current, cider and lager) which i used to drink as a goth student.

verdict: very pleasant

a few people from the conference:

these people are mostly greek:

this chap is from the UK. here he is featured with a giant bottle-top / ash tray. this impressed him and hopefully it will impress you too:

before sunset:

and later on with a chap demonstrating fire:

but look behind the food tables and what do we see ? all the music and the authentic medieval fine wine and modern lager. we weren't actually transported through time after all:

it's those coat hangers again. this time with a shadow darker than the thing themselves.

click to enlarge

Ghent has canals all over the place so there's loads of lovely reflections everywhere. but here's a nice shadow.

i noticed these manequins in a clothes shop. "don't buy our clothes and you'll look like this" might be their moto.

or possibly "no-one's body really looks like this. but some of our clothes and cover yours up"

a strange flashing thing dangling from a shop. that's art that is.

Ghent has got loads of towers, three of which are in a row. i spotted two of them reflected in this traffic mirror with the other one in front.

and this one is just of the other one with the sun going down.

the conference organisers organised (!) a trip to Ghent city hall last night. this included a neat guided tour behind the scenes.

here is the city crest and a statue of someone wearing glasses

and here is the royal 'thrown' in the thrown room. i guess the relevant dignatory wouldn't have used it with his subjects watching. but it was cunningly disguised as padded stool. it's a stool for stools:

the title of this conference is sort of related to the Internet being everywhere all the time. and that's been my experience in Ghent. free hotspots in the hotel and the conference centre.

perhaps it's only the UK where people try to charge you for everything ?

more fine belgium cuisine. after a plate full of meat and 'frozen boiled potatos' (an esther phrase), we had mini sponge cake, chocolate gloop and a profitable-roll. yummy.

i've so far failed to eat any of my emergency Mars bars which i always take when travelling abroad.

for anyone that doubted it, here is a dreadful picture of the president of the conference organisers welcoming us all along.

he's also appearing on the big screen behind him. it's just like reading festival isn't it ?

i'm speaking at 5pm on friday. chances are everyone will either have left or be asleep by then. i'm tryiing to think of whether there is anything clever/comical i could do with the big screen (in addition to my comedy powerpoint slides)

click for answer

This is a great dog sign isn't it ? possibly the jolliest i've ever seen.

and, to my great joy, the chap with his hound is at the conference again this year. i shall get an up-to-date picture before the week is out ... (and here it is)

art outside the hotel reception

click for bigger

compare this to the Swedish one and you'll see these two chaps have been shovelling the same pile back and forth !

who could fail to love a country whose national dish is steak and chips accompanied by beer followed by luxury chocolate and ice-cream.

good to see they still use heinz ketchup.

i'm staying in an old monastry. i thought it'd be all churchy, but the bit i'm in is a mid-70s annex so not quite as nice. however, it is a massive room with a ceiling higher than the room is wide.

and it's got its own kitchen. this is the first hotel i've stayed in where they give you a cooking hob, pans and washing up sink.

they also denied they had any Internet access, saying i needed to use the phone line. but then i had a wifi snoop and found this a free spot.

lucky us - that means fresh content for all !

this is quite a mad sign. it contains beheaded dogs, ladder climbing dogs and random pushchair obstacle courses.

click to enlarge

long distance trains are a bit of strange thing in the UK. our trains generally don't go between countries like they on the continent. the worst that can happen in the UK is that you get inconvenienced a bit.

but the eurostar makes this sport a little more exciting. get the wrong train and you end up in paris rather than brussels. get to brussels and get on the wrong train and you can end up anywhere.

luckily i made it to Ghent safely.

this is like one of those "what shape comes next" quizzes. for those who care, here is the worser version

here's another orchestra lorry to add to my collection

clive swift

this bollard has had a hair transplant. its lusious locks were blowing in the wind.

better picture here

click to inspect

i call it a spade

our poor photocopier has been feeling sorry for itself as we seem to simply print new things these days rather than copy old things. and he take SO long to warm up.

i didn't realise things had got this bad for him though. he's essentially saying "please turn me off. i can't take it any more".

there's a ray of hope here too in that it's asked to be switched back on again. to be renewed if you like. made like new. brilliant.

but who is this service rep-resentative. and why is he so resentful ?

jewel sent me this chap.

she writes:

hello again! tis me, jewel. i thought your readers might enjoy this a bit more than mine, so i decided to send him off to you. please take good care of him, he's never been away from home before.

this poor chap is not only slipping on the wetness that is before him, but he is also clapped in a life-or-death struggle with a very linear dragon. not a very good day for two-dementional men, i suppose.

look at the detail on this sign (which i may have photo'd before, but always worth a repeat). you can almost hear him straining with the weight of that shovel.

spotted first thing sunday morning on the street of stockholm. it's a carry car.

i tried to teach kezia wisdom last week but forgot to mention it. the conversation happened at the dinner table:

jane: "kezia, what would you like for your pudding?"

kezia: "yoghurt please mummy"

jane: "you had yoghurt for your dinner so you can't have one for your tea i'm afraid"

kezia: "oh. in that case i've changed my mind. i DON'T want yoghurt for my dinner. So can i have it now instead ?".

me (spotting my moment): "you can LEARN from the past, but you can't CHANGE it"

everyone: stunned silence.

RESULT: kezia had an apple

it was anna's birthday today and jane helped out with the face painting. here are kezia and cousin thomas looking at the face painting manual after getting back from the party. and here also is esther's new hat.

but who was the fantastic mr balloon at anna's party ? none other than regular blog reader, my good friend Tony.

when in stockholm jane and i stumbled upon the swedish national symphonia orchestra practising in Skansen.

We didn't know they were practising at the time and it looked like a live broadcast with people doing proper 'links' between items. here is our host:

our camera man (excellent cigarette work):

big fat brass instrument (with and without mute):

potty signing ladies:

when we got back to our hotel room that evening we switched on the telly, and there was the orchestra playing introduced by the same lady. it was the actual performance being broadcast live !

girls are no worry. but watch out for the boys.

my company is 10 years old this year which is not bad. i've been there for over a third of those years and with every year i stay that proportion increases.

part of the fun day was an it's a knockout tournament. i wasn't in a team as i'm useless (generally) and also we weren't sure when the kids would run out of steam and need to go home. this proved to be a wise decision as we left about 10 minutes in to the games and you've seen what happened in the car

here is my boss transporting water on his head:

and here are some other colleagues getting wet:

jane and esther on the dodgems

esther on a bungee trampoline

my company is one of the sponsors to TeamGB, the UK olympic team. As a result it's been olympic fever for the last few months. here is one of the actual olympians actualy fencing at the funday.

my office family fun day had lots of stuff for kids. face painting was particularly popular with our girls:

nephew thomas is staying with us for a couple of days whilst our sister-in-law's baby hatched (it hatched today and is a girl making me an aunt for the first time - i'm already an uncle to thomas of course).

nephew thomas is too macho to have his face painted so went for a sailor-style tattoo instead:

it was my work fun day today, but fun is such hard work. compare the going with the coming back:

here is esther examining the garden apples for mouldy bits, bird pecked bits and wasp sucked bits. most of our apples contain most of these:

there were a few good ones which jane chopped up for the girls. they were so tastey that esther licked the bowl to make sure nothing was wasted:

this robot is by the sea in Stockholm. i think it's missing its friend from london. a very mysterious coincidence !

jane and i made the most of our trip to stockholm without the kids by having a meal in a restaurant. it was most lovely.

if you have time to spare in stockholm and the weather isn't too bad, go cycling. it's great.

more bollards from the bronx from brad.

Brad writes: This is a picture of a newspaper saying it's sorry, my legs, and a bollard.

click for big

Brad writes: this shows the power of teamwork.

Brad writes:is a bollard monument in honor of fellow bollards lost in the line of duty (note the tasteful addition of a cross):

click for big

when i set up the category found white goods i didn't expect to use it for a white crayon. i like crayons. i like how they have their colour written on the wrapper.

but white crayons ? most people use white paper, or have white on the backgrounds of their computer documents, so what use is a white crayon ? poor man's correction fluid perhaps ?

here's some hand written signs from a non-chain hotel. they've got a room vacancy and job vacancy for a cleaner. perhaps it's a very messy room.

here is a most bizarre thing. rather than opening the flap of a lid on a wheely bin, someone has sawn round the top.

that's a bit like using an old fashioned tin-opener on a can of coke.

here's a very strange thing sent from regular reader Sarah. i can't attempt to paraphrase her email, so here it is in full:

"I live in Minnesota and at our state fair there is a young woman who wins a contest and gets to be the princess of the dairy farmers. She's called Princess Kay of the Milky Way. And one of the many honors that are bestowed on this young woman is the privilege of having a large block of butter carved into her likeness.

I took a picture of last year's sculpture that sat in the cooler at the fair. Behind it sits this year's Princess Kay of the Milky Way as she sits for the artist who is carving her Butterhead.

I love the Butterhead. I want to bite her nose. And, yes, the butterhead is wearing a tiara."

well, i thought they'd stopped doing the page numbers at paddington station, but it appears they haven't. which is great news.

page 100 on the leftis a bog standard one, but inspect page 22, on the right, more closely (by giving it a gentle click).

big brother is not only watching us, but it's watching them too.

in times of trouble, don't turn to alcholo (especialy largger) [splling dlberate]

a great day for refletioms:

and general sky niceness:

oh dear.

this bin made me laugh with its multiple bin pile up and jaunty lid.

it looked as dirty as ditch water

here is a giant pointing finger floating in the sea in Stockholm.

i'm going to do some upgrading of the blog this evening, so if you can't see this or everything goes weird, don't panic.

if it's still weird by tomorrow then you can panic.

update: well, that was scarey. i got halfway through updating and it all fell apart.

the support from movabletype was fantastic though and here we are. comments still need working on so sorry if there's strangeness.

if you find anything else (unintentionally) weird, let me know

skansen in Stockholm is a really great place. here are jane and i in theplace where i was on my own a few months before (see bottom picture here)

do you need two dead trees and a cloud on your desktop ? if so, click and do the thing.

click for huge

i'm working from home today as the office aircon is still on the blink. so here's some Stockholm pictures instead !

Our hotel room was on the 4th floor so we had room service bring the breakfast and we sat by the window watching the world go by whilst eating ham and cheese sandwiches.